How to say I Do? Tips and Tricks:
To get there, it is important to give yourself space and time to write your vows – well before the wedding date and any frantic energy can get in the way.
You do not have to write your vows in one sitting, but if inspiration hits, go for it! Chances are, you will be mulling over what your partner and marriage mean to you in the lead-up to the big day. This can all sit in your head until you feel ready to spill or try getting into a habit of having a small notebook handy to jot down anything that comes to mind.
Look out for inspiration. This can be in the form of a beautiful sunset you see, a poem you come across, or a photo that inspires a memory. Take photos of such scenes or take note of moments of inspiration. Objects may also be a good way to open up your heart and get the words flowing. You could try sitting with something special your loved one has gifted you and perhaps writing a sentence or two about that object or memory will lead to something you can use in your vows.
Write down special trips you have taken, or how you spend your time together. If you have children, you may want to include them in your vows or reference the appreciation you have of your partner’s co-parenting. This, of course, applies to fur babies too!
Spend time writing to your heart’s content, or if writing is not your thing, record your voice on your phone – just waffle away about the suggested topics and see where it leads you. Try not to get too hung up on how you sound if you go down this route! Length of material does not matter at this stage, but once you feel you have the most important points down, then it’s time to go over your vows. You may find it most helpful to do this with a trusted friend or family member, but at the end of the day they are there as a sounding board and for you to figure out what is most important to include out of the material you have, so make it clear this is not about advice!
The writing of The Vows:
Start with your loved one’s name, this anchors your vow into the moment between you, and do try to make eye contact – vows can be memorized or read, there is no pressure to get this perfect as it is clear, the most beautiful vows are raw and not construed, so your ease is important – so many people are not comfortable speaking in front of others, so there is no shame in reading your vows at all – but do make the effort to look into your beloved’s eyes and be brave!
Mention how the two of you met, your own experience of the moment, and how you knew at one stage or another that you were vibing marriage with this beautiful human. Feel free to use humor but don’t go too far if you’re a bit of a joker and your partner is not. Have respect for the sacredness of the moment and sensitivity to what your partner can handle!
Talk about what your partner means to you, what you especially appreciate about them – their hidden talents and anything (above-board) that may have surprised you about them, or what they are really great at.
You may take a page out of more traditional vows and promise something that is unique to your relationship, such as “I promise to always support you in your obsession with Star Wars,’ or “I promise to continue to make you the best omelet you have ever eaten every Friday of our marriage,’ you can get really specific and memorable!
Finally, you can talk about what marriage means to you, and how you envision stepping forward in your next journey together. Some vows include a reference to hard or challenging times that you may have experienced, if you feel it is important to be real and to honor all parts of your relationship, then include these.
There are some beautiful poems that are classic when it comes to wedding vows and will forever resonate with romantic hearts – you can use some or all of such poems or verses.
A twist on wedding vows can be where you both recite the same wedding vow, or verse – this can unite you as a couple before loved ones and is a different way to do wedding vows from surprising one another with your own sentiments.